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Vil du rette mit engels?

Hej =) Jeg har brug for at få rettet min stil. Håber I vil hjælpe. =) TUSIND tak.
Thank you everybody for listening and thanks to my new English teacher, Hanne, who has given me the permission to speak directly to you today about those poor people who are dying everyday in Vietnam.
I know that I do not look like an ordinary American from the West, as the most of you here. The trip that has led me here from when I was born, have been unbelievable and amazing. My parents were born in the heart of Morocco and came to America, the bubble of freedom, and got married to give birth to me and my four other siblings. My mother made a decision to move to the West, when her yearning and her dream could only be achieved through the freedom and the opportunities the West promised. And therefore I am here.
I am here for fighting for your country, I am here to take care of women and children, who dying every day and I am here for bring peace between us- so we can live in a peaceful and humane world, as we probably all want. We cannot continue sending our death squads out and conduct attacks on Vietnamese. 41,000 people is enough. Throwing napalm to burn people to death and throwing thousands of tons of Agent Orange at people is so dirty, brutal and difficult.
To make our country and the entire world work, it is necessary to make compromises. Not everyone can be identical, and thus do not have the same wishes and opinions on different things, hence the need to make compromises. We must each learn that we cannot always get what we want, which we must accept. It is okay to have different opinions and attitudes, but through democracy we must find a solution to the benefit of as many as possible. It is not necessarily synonymous with utilitarian position: "the greatest happiness possible for the greatest number of people"
These facts are not a compromise but rather a victory for the majority and defeat for the rest.
Classmates, people in America and people in the world, our challenge is great. The way that we will be long if we do not fight and engage in the natural struggle to run the justice and peace between us.
PEACE
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Rettelse

I want to thank all of you for listening and I want to thank my new English teacher, Hanne, who has given me permission the speak directly to you today about those poor people in Vietnam who are dying everyday. I know that I do not look like an ordinary American for the West like most of you here. The journey that has led me her from I was born, has been unbelievable and amazing. My parents were born in the heart of Morocco and came to America, the dream of freedom, and got married to give birth to me and my four siblings. My mother made a decision to move to the West, when her yearning and her dreams could only be achieved through the freedom and the opportunities the West promised. An therefore I am here.
I am here to fight for your country, I am here to take care of women and children, who are dying everyday and I am here to bring peace between us - so that we can live in a peaceful and humane world, as we probably all want. We cannot continue sending our death squads out and conduct attacks on the Vietnamese people. 41,000 is enough. Throwing napalm to burn people to death and throwing thousands of tons of Agent Orange at people is so dirty, brutal and disgusting.
Ingen ændringer til resten (no comment or changes to the rest)
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Mon ikke...

Du skulle lave dine lektier selv i stedet for konstant at lægge det ud på nettet for at få det rettet?
Du er slet ikke dårlig, der er et par småting hist og pist, men jeg kan love dig for at det ikke er et problem at forstå dig....
I mit daglige job arbejder jeg tæt sammen med folk fra UK, USA, Australien og New Zealand for slet ikke at tale om alle de, som har engelsk som deres 2. sprog.
De gutter som har engelsk som deres "Native Tongue" taler faktisk ganske forfærdeligt i mange tilfælde.
Så hvis du gør det så godt (selv) kan, så er det ikke så galt endda!
Derimod giver du jo et falsk billede overfor din lærer hvis du præsenterer noget som du ret beset ikke selv har lavet....
SuperDebat.dk er det tidligere debatforum på SOL.dk, som nu er skilt ud separat.