Almost in love (again)…

First of all … Sorry I don’t write Danish, hope you don’t mind. (I ain’t a Danish)
Do you like the feeling of being in love? Butterflies in your stomach when you see him/her, the feeling that all of a sudden those love songs you hear everyday have some meanings, you start to be more considerate about your look because you want to look at your best for him/her and you might even start to write a poem or something…
And when you with the person you love for some years, you married him/her. When you are in a long term relationship or such, you love the person still but the feeling of “being in love” has gone. The passion has gone, you know what I mean.
For me, I married my husband for almost 3 years. We’ve been living together for almost 7 years now. I can’t help feeling that I’m kind of alone in my relationship and yes, I’m lonely. The first thing that’s gone from our relationship is passion and than our sex life. We talked about our problem but he doesn’t seem to understand my feelings. Classic case, isn’t it?
Now I’m kind of feeling in love with a friend of mine. He is a single guy, smart and good looking. He doesn’t know that I have feeling for him but I think he can sense that I like him. He told me that he likes me but I didn’t say anything in return because I’m a married woman and I don’t want to spoil our friendship. I know that he wouldn’t want to date a married woman. So, I prefer to keep our relationship as friends only.
Now!! stupid questions, Should I tell him that I like him too? And should I tell him that I wouldn’t mind to have him as a lover or something? Or should I just keep a feeling for myself and stay as a distance friend?
Yes, sometime I need public slaps on my face.
Cheers!

Yes, I know the feeling of being in love, and as you point out, it doesn't last. If you only focus on the feeling of being in love and want that constantly, then you will either have to cheat on your partner or go in-and-out of relationships all the time. Is that what you want???
If you and your partner both want it, you can make your relationship come to life again. But you probably can't make it like a new relationship all the time. It takes a lot of work to keep a relationship alive, and most couples forget to do that work some of the time (in some cases most of the time).
I think that you are in a typical 7-year crisis. This is a crossroads. Do you love your partner, and do you want to continue living with him? Or has love died, and you want to end it and find a better partner?
I don't think that it is OK to cheat on your partner! Find out what you want and act accordingly! If you decide to leave him, have the heart to end it before you start a relationship with someone else! If you want to stay, forget your feelings for your friend. If you ignore the feelings, they will pass.
Good luck,
hønemor1001

Sex and passion is a natural part of a marriage.
If I was in your position, I would demand for a
divorce or find a lover.

I think the most stupid thing you can do regardless of when and with whom is to cheat on your husbond. If your marriage really is dead then I say, get a divorce and move on with your life. Cheating is disrespectful - not only to your husbond AND your friend but to yourself. It is being untrue to yourself and what you need the most in a situation like this is to maintain your self-respect and the truth.
Nonetheless, have you attempted 'fixing' your relationship with your husbond? Are you two working on it at all? You need consider the fact that it is possible that you have fallen for this friend of yours due to lack of love etc in your marriage. After all this whole thing could be temporary.
You need to give your husbond a chance to improve and tell him that the love / comfort / confirmation etc he is currently providing or simply not providing at all is insufficient and that you cannot live under such conditions - say that it is tearing you apart and making you unhappy. Stand up for yourself, show him that you respect yourself too much to accept being unhappy and that you want to see changes. Now, he may actually come forward and come up with constructive critism about what HE thinks YOU are doing 'wrong'. Do nothing but take it in. It takes two to dance the tango. It takes a loooot of work but it is not impossible.
Unless, your feelings really are dead for your husbond and it will deep down feel as nothing but a waste of time. Then get out of it and be with someone.
Feel deep down what is right for you.
I wish you the best of luck and please keep us udated :D
-----
PS Where are you from?

Meant to say - Then get out of it and be with someone ELSE who will make you happy etc.
and - You need TO consider the fact.

Thanks for all the comments. Sorry for the late reply. ;)
I've been thinking about it a lot and I think it's just one of those things. Yes, I can easily cheat on my husband but that would be painful for both of us. I still do love my husband.
About my friend, I like him a lot but I know the relationship won't work. He's a single guy and he has lots of single girls who are interested to him. Why would he choose me, a married-woman?
That's just life.
Cheers to you all.

Hi
Depending on where your friend is in his life, he may actually prefer at relationship with a hot married woman like you. A lot of men are actually quite happy to have a relationship with out too many strings attached.
I think the most dangerous thing here - besides getting discovered by you husband - is destroying the relationship you have with this guy. If you are working together with him, it could be really nasty.
A perhaps much better option would be to find a married man who is in the same situation as you; ie in a good relationship but missing sex and passion.
A married man would understand your situation and not expect more than a sexual relationship. And he would probably be full of unleashed sexual energy ;)
I talk from experience - I have had a secret female lover for 6 months who was single, and that didnt work out in the end because she wanted to find a life partner rather than a lover.
Best wishes, M

Hi..
Yep!! That could be an idea. Living in a sin!! Have a husband and a lover at the same time. Well, anything possible.
I used to have affair with a married-man (he is a Danish) for some years by that time I was single. It wasn't fun because I had feeling for him but he doesn't want any relationship other than sex. Thanks God it's ended.
I talked to the guy and we agreed to keep our relationship as friends and in business only. It's better that way.
I know it's going to be a stupid thing but I'm kind of waiting for some kind of erotic affairs but it shouldn't be just anyone. I'm very demanding when it comes to sex. I can't just have sex with anyone. He needs to meet my standard too. (good looking, smart, etc)..
Feel free to comment, people. I'm open for any comment/advice. Possitive or negative, bring it on!!..
Cheers

Hi
I am a man in the same situation - a good and steady relationship that I care about, but too little sexual affection.
Perhaps we can help each other?
You're welcome to contact me if you'd like to talk
Have lovely afternoon!

Thanks for you kind comment. I've been reading your posts above mine and I understand how you feel.
Cheers