en alternativ guide til de ti bud

An Idiot's Guide to The 10 Commandments:
1. Don't even THINK about looking at another god - it's all about ME!
2. Stop with the arts and crafts already and focus on ME!
3. When you say MY name you better mean it, bitch! (Who's your daddy? Say it... say it... that's right, I'M your daddy!)
4. Remember, every seventh day simply MUST be devoted entirely to ME.
5. Be nice to your parents so they will not be distracted from serving and worshiping ME.
6. Don't murder anybody - that would just be one less person who is worshiping ME.
7. If you really must do the nasty, only do it with your spouse. Sex is icky (and makes baby Jesus cry.)
8. Just because I stole myths from other cultures to come up with my cute little creation stories and flood catastrophes doesn't mean stealing is okay for you.
9. Don't be a liar, or your pants just might catch on fire. (Especially if you're stupid enough to be sporting a blend of wool and linen. I'm sorry, but there's really no excuse for that.)
10. Covet not thy neighbor's iPod, nor thy neighbor's wife's iPad. Don't forget what happened the last time somebody yielded to the temptation of the Apple.

en googlet oversættelse :
En Idiot 's guide til de 10 bud:
1. Må ikke engang tænke på at kigge på en anden gud - det handler om MIG!
2. Stop med kunst og kunsthåndværk, der allerede og fokusere på MIG!
3. Når du siger mit navn, du bedre mener det, kælling! (Hvem er din far? Sig det ... siger det ... det er rigtigt, jeg er din far!)
4. Husk, hver syvende dag skal simpelthen være helliget helt til ME.
5. Vær sød ved dine forældre, så de vil ikke blive distraheret fra at tjene og tilbede ME.
6. Må ikke myrde nogen - det ville bare være en mindre person, som tilbeder ME.
7. Hvis du virkelig skal gøre det grimme, kun gøre det med din ægtefælle. Sex er ulækkert (og gør Jesusbarnet skrig.)
8. Bare fordi jeg stjal myter fra andre kulturer til at komme op med mine søde små oprettelse historier og oversvømmelse katastrofer betyder ikke, at stjæle er okay for dig.
9. Må ikke være en løgner, eller dine bukser bare kan bryde i brand. (Især hvis du er dum nok til at blive sportslige en blanding af uld og hør. Jeg beklager, men der er virkelig ingen undskyldning for det.)
10. Begære ikke din næstes iPod eller din næstes hustru iPad. Glem ikke hvad der skete sidste gang nogen gav efter for fristelsen til Apple.

An Idiot's Guide to The 10 Commandments:
1. Don't even THINK about looking at another god - it's all about ME!
2. Stop with the arts and crafts already and focus on ME!
3. When you say MY name you better mean it, bitch! (Who's your daddy? Say it... say it... that's right, I'M your daddy!)
4. Remember, every seventh day simply MUST be devoted entirely to ME.
5. Be nice to your parents so they will not be distracted from serving and worshiping ME.
6. Don't murder anybody - that would just be one less person who is worshiping ME.
7. If you really must do the nasty, only do it with your spouse. Sex is icky (and makes baby Jesus cry.)
8. Just because I stole myths from other cultures to come up with my cute little creation stories and flood catastrophes doesn't mean stealing is okay for you.
9. Don't be a liar, or your pants just might catch on fire. (Especially if you're stupid enough to be sporting a blend of wool and linen. I'm sorry, but there's really no excuse for that.)
10. Covet not thy neighbor's iPod, nor thy neighbor's wife's iPad. Don't forget what happened the last time somebody yielded to the temptation of the Apple.